Rage & Relaxation

I am currently listening to the soundtrack of The Dark Knight Rises and typing this post with every force of my being. I think my roommate is concerned about the amount of anger and rage I have displayed today. My life right now is just a constant state of frustration. (I promise this whole post won't be a bitch fest, I just need to vent momentarily).

Some guys are just the worst. Scummy, dirt ball, jerks. I'm not saying I hate all men--not at all. I think a lot of guys are absolutely incredible. They make amazing friends, and I'm sure there has to be some guy out there who isn't a total scumbag. I'm merely speaking of the guys from my past. As much as they try to make up for the past, they dig themselves deeper and show their scumminess even more as the years go on.

That's all.

Honestly, it makes me want to punch something. Can guys just stop being so skeezy? News flash: girls aren't into that. At least the classy girls aren't. Oh, and also, if you have a girlfriend, you should NEVER send a valentine to a girl you previously had a thing with. Ever. Period. Just a little piece of advice...

Any way, while I'm still full of rage at the mail I received today, I will instead try to focus on the positives of my life right now as opposed to dwelling on the negatives.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I went home this past weekend, which was the best decision ever. It was so great to be with my family, to sleep for 12+ hours, and to watch the Olympics nonstop.

I chilled with my little nephew Sammy a lot. I mean, just look at that adorable, pensive face. 

When I was home, I also visited two great places: one old favorite, and one new.

The old favorite is a store that I have been shopping at since 2008, one year after I moved to Ohio. The name of this magical store is none other than Wholly Craft!:

That's right. It IS pink. And it's fabulous. 

The best bags ever. 

I'm all about the puns. You see, I work at a shop in Columbus called Sew to Speak, and my two favorite stores in Columbus are Wholly Craft! and What The Rock?!. Stores in Columbus are the bomb.com.

From Wholly Craft!, I got some pretty sweet stuff (an awesome globe necklace and a sticker for my computer that reads "Knitting is Knotty"), but by far my favorite purchased item was this:

It's...it's beautiful.

Yes, your eyes are correct in perceiving this beautiful sight. It's a mug with a cat on it that reads "Forever Alone". And truer words have never been spoken.

After my adventures in Wholly Craft!, I ventured to a new record store with my mom to add to my slowly growing vinyl collection. Going with my mom was such a treat. When we were in the shop, she pointed to at least five concert posters that she attended. Hendrix, Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, The Doors, you name it: my mom was probably at that concert. Like mother, like daughter. <3

Classics.

Jefferson Airplane

The Doors

Lost Weekend Records

And here's what I indulged in:

Neutral Milk Hotel

Vampire Weekend

And the best: $5 Queen records.

It really doesn't get any better than this. 

So, now I'm back at school, enjoying the sweet tuneskies, catching up on my work, trying to ignore the vile humans, and looking on the positive side of every situation. I gotta say, it's really hard to do. But, I'm trying my best, and that's all I can do. 

Keep on keepin' on, friends. This post would be longer and more thoughtful if I wasn't so rage-filled. Stay tuned for more. Maybe I'll find my zen zone soon. Hopefully...

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"We accept the love we think we deserve."

-The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Anthems For A Twenty Year Old Girl

BlahblahblahHappyValentine'sDayblahblahblah.

So, it's Valentine's Day. Or, as I like to call it, National "Show Everyone On Social Media How Loved I Am" Day. (For the record, I am so guilty of this). In my 20 years of life, I have dated two men, and had a very prolonged fling with another man. And it hindsight, it was all a major pain in the ass. I'm probably saying this because all the guys I've been with have obviously been very wrong for me, but still. Relationships take a lot of work. Again, I'm probably saying this because I've only been with dirtbags. I've kind of come to the bitter assumption that men in my age group just aren't romantic. I have amazing guy friends, but the instant a guy goes from being just a friend to being more than that, something always goes wrong. I instantly see all of their flaws (well, I guess not all too instantly...) and I realize they aren't good for me. Am I really that picky? I guess I am. 

But honestly, I would rather be with no one than be with a guy who's wrong for me. I am very picky, but I like to think that it'll pay off one day. 

It'll totally pay off, right? Right?! I guess I'll go to the cat shelter now to start my collection...

I actually really hate cats...so, dogs?

Here's the thing: I'm not a hookup type person, which, in college, is very rare. For the record, I support anyone and everyone who is a hookup type person. I think it makes a lot of sense in college (as long as you're safe about it, of course). Very few people look for committed relationships in college because everyone is so young, no one wants to be tied down, and no one really has time for a relationship. I mean, I know that I don't. Hell, some days I don't even have time to shower (that's right boys, if I haven't already scared you off, I bet I did with that comment...). Between school and a cappella and STITCH and DM and lab work and family and friends and sleeping and trying to be a normal person, I barely have any time for myself, let alone another human being. 

Sure, the cuddling and kissing and holding hands and flirting and adorable text messages is so wonderful and special. And I know of a lot of adorable couples who are so happy (I'm looking at you, Demma! Willard Rat Trap wedding, circa 2018. It's gonna happen.) I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm just not in that stage of my life yet. Whenever I get into a committed relationship, I sacrifice my life for the other person. I just can't help it--that's who I am and what I do.

In my life right now, I can't afford to do that. I have places to go, people to see, and things to do. Hopefully in a couple of years I will find a balance in my life to have a guy, but right now, a man would only get in the way of my future and goals.

Damn. If there are any guys reading this, they are now officially scared off. With all of this being said, men, I still love going on dates and flirting and all that jazz. And who knows, maybe I will find the guy of my dreams in college. But, at this point, I highly doubt that. I'm just such a shy person around guys I find super attractive, so nothing ever happens. Maybe it's better that way? Who knows... #foreveralone

Any way, what did I do on this fine Valentine's Day, you ask? Well, I'm home for the weekend, which is absolutely amazing. I've been looking forward to coming home for so long now, and it was a complete coincidence that the weekend I was able to come home was also Valentine's Day weekend. I love nothing more than spending time with my family, so I consider myself extremely lucky.

My funny valentine.

And, I mean, let's be real, it's not like I'd be going on any dates tonight if I was still in E-Town. So, this was perfect. I spent the day with my family and my puppy and you know what? It was the best damn Valentine's Day ever. 

My mom took me to my favorite coffee shop, Stauf's, and it was magical as always. 

Stauf's

The Milky Way.

Then, we came home, and I made playlists all day. Not even joking. I sat on the couch for hours and made different playlists for different situations whilst cuddling with my puppy. It was so relaxing listening to music. For your musical pleasure, here are the Valentine's Day playlists I curated:

For The Love Birds:

"And I Love Her" by The Beatles

"At Last" by Etta James

"Bruises" by Chairlift

"By Your Side" by Beachwood Sparks

"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

"Come What May" Moulin Rouge Version

"Crown of Love" by Arcade Fire

"Do You Believe in Magic? by The Lovin' Spoonful

"Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult

"Dreamers" by Savoir Adore

"Drops of Jupiter" by Train

"Every Day" by Magic Man

"Everything" by Michael Bublé

"Fineshrine" by Purity Ring

"Friday I'm In Love" by The Cure

"Girlfriend" by Phoenix

"Heroes" by David Bowie

"Hold On When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give It" by Stars

"Honey & I" by HAIM

"I Always Knew" by The Vaccines

"I Will" by The Beatles

"I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie

"I Would Do Anything for You" by Foster the People

"I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz

"L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole

"Last Leaf" by OK Go

"Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)" by Ella Fitzgerald

"Love Is a Place" by Metric

"Love Is Easy" by The Mowgli's

"Love Like A Sunset Part II" by Phoenix

"The Luckiest" by Ben Folds

"Mad Love" by Neon Trees

"A Message" by Coldplay

"Michelle" by The Beatles

"My Love" by Justin Timberlake

"Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" by Arcade Fire

"Romeo and Juliet" by The Killers

"Sea of Love" by The National

"Simplest Love" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes

"Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap

"There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" by The Smiths

"Till Kingdom Come" by Coldplay

"Your Song" Moulin Rouge Version

"2 Atoms In a Molecule" by Noah And The Whale

For The "It's Complicated" Situations:

"The Bad in Each Other" by Feist

"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga

"Call Me" by Blondie

"Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen

"Change Your Mind" by The Killers

"Cheating On You" by Franz Ferdinand

"Cheetah" by Voxhaul Broadcast

"Complicated" by Avril Levigne

"F*cking Boyfriend" by The Bird and the Bee

"Figure 8" by Ellie Goulding

"Heart In A Cage" by The Strokes

"I Know You Don't Love Me" by Peter Bjorn & John

"If You Wanna" by The Vaccines

"Leaving On The 5th" by Voxhaul Broadcast

"Let Go" by Frou Frou

"Little Games" by the Colourist

"Little Secrets" by Passion Pit

"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles

"Lover's Spit" by Broken Social Scene

"Lovesick" by Friendly Fires

"Mercy" by Duffy

"The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)" by Flight Of The Conchords

"Mr. Brightside" by The Killers

"My Moon My Man" by Feist

"No You Girls" by Franz Ferdinand

"Normal Person" by Arcade Fire

"Out of My League" by Fitz & The Tantrums

"Paris (Aeroplane Remix)" by Friendly Fires

"Pass This On" by The Knife

"Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" by The Smiths

"Post Break-Up Sex" by The Vaccines

"Primadonna" by Marina and The Diamonds

"Settle Down" by Kimbra

"Sleeping With a Friend" by Neon Trees

"Somebody Told Me" by The Killers

"Tongue Tied" by Grouplove

"Too Young" by Phoenix

"Toxic" by The Chapin Sisters

"We Sink" by CHVRCHES

For Your Hook-Up Situations:

 "Affection" by Crystal Castles

"Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang

"Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke

"Do What U Want" by Lady Gaga

"Don't Stop the Music" by Rihanna

"Electric Feel" by MGMT

"Foxy Lady" by Jimi Hendrix

"Get Lucky" by Daft Punk

"Hot in Herre" by Nelly

"Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer

"Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen

"I'm a Slave for You" by Britney Spears

"Infinity" by The xx

"Intro" by The xx

"Jenny" by WALK THE MOON

"Kiss Kiss" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

"Last Night" by The Strokes

"Lay It Down" by Peter Bjorn & John

"Let's Go To Bed" by The Cure

"Locked Out Of Heaven" by Bruno Mars

"Lose Yourself to Dance" by Daft Punk

"Lost Kitten" by Metric

"Naughty Girl" by Beyonce

"Next In Line" by WALK THE MOON

"Ooh La La" by Goldfrapp

"Porno" by Arcade Fire

"S&M" by Rihanna

"Sex On Fire" by Kings of Leon

"SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake

"Shiver Shiver" by WALK THE MOON

"Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by Cake

"Succexy" by Metric

"Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj

"Superfreak" by Rick James

"You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC

For The Broken Hearts:

"Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone" by Bill Withers

"All By Myself" by Eric Carmen

"Anywayican" by WALK THE MOON

"Apologize" by OneRepublic

"Blueside" by Rooney

"Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure

"Chain of Fools" by Aretha Franklin

"Changing of the Seasons" by Two Door Cinema Club

"Cold As Ice" by Foreigner

"Dancing By Myself" by Billy Idol

"Dancing On My Own" by Robyn

"Days Are Gone" by HAIM

"Dead And Gone" by The Black Keys

"Don't Look Back" by She & Him

"Evil Woman" by Electric Light Orchestra

"F*ck You" by Cee Lo Green

"F*ck You" by Lily Allen

"Gonna Get Along Without You Now" by She & Him

"Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt

"Heart of Glass" by Blondie

"Hex Girlfriend" by Neon Indian

"High and Dry" by Radiohead

"How Soon Is Now?" by The Smiths

"Hurting" by Friendly Fires

"I Love It" by Icona Pop

"I'm Down" by The Beatles

"I'm So Sad, So Very, Very Sad" by The Black Lips

"If I Ever Feel Better" by Phoenix

"L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N" by Noah And The Whale

"Let's Call It Off (Girl Talk Remix)" by Peter Bjorn & John

"Lies" by CHVRCHES

"Lonely Boy" by The Black Keys

"Miss You" by Foster the People

"My Broken Heart" by Noah And The Whale

"Part of Me" by Katy Perry

"Second Chances" by Peter Bjorn & John

"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)" by The Beatles

"Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" by Beyonce

"Somebody That I Used To Know" by Gotye featuring Kimbra

"Somebody to Love" by Queen

"Summertime Sadness" by Lana Del Rey

"You're So Vain" by Carly Simon

"Breathing Underwater" by Metric

"Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" by Bob Dylan

"Waiting For My Chance To Come" by Noah And The Whale

"Everything's Not Lost" by Coldplay

"It's Time" by Imagine Dragons

"Here Comes The Sun" by The Beatles

"Turn, Turn, Turn" by The Byrds

"Don't Panic" by Coldplay

For Those Crushing On Someone:

"American Boy" by Estelle featuring Kanye West

"And Then He Kissed Me" by The Crystals

"Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl" by Broken Social Scene

"Anything Could Happen" by Ellie Goulding

"Betty's A Bombshell" by Grouplove

"Bohemian Like You" by The Dandy Warhols

"Campus" by Vampire Weekend

"Can You Tell" by Ra Ra Riot

"Don't Be Shy" by The Libertines

"Elevate" by St. Lucia

"Eyes" by The Naked & Famous

"Eyes" by Rogue Wave

"Falling" by HAIM

"Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg

"Fallout" by Neon Indian

"Fell In Love With a Girl" by The White Stripes

"Fireflies" by Owl City

"Forever" by HAIM

"Girls Like You" by The Naked & Famous

"Giving Up The Gun" by Vampire Weekend

"Heartbeats" by The Knife

"Heaven" by The Walkmen

"Here Comes Your Man" by Pixies

"High School Lover" by Cayucas

"I Got" by Young the Giant

"I Want to Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles

"I Want You!" by Peter Bjorn & John

"I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab for Cutie

"I've Just Seen a Face" by The Beatles

"In The Aeroplane Over The Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel

"Instant Crush" by Daft Punk

"Junk Of The Heart (Happy)" by The Kooks

"Just Like Heaven" by The Cure

"Keep Together" by Hunter Hunted

"Lady Daydream" by Twin Sister

"Leggy Blonde" by Flight Of The Conchords

"Like A Star" by Corinne Bailey Rae

"Love Somebody" by Maroon 5

"Most Wanted" by Cults

"My Number" by Foals

"(Nice Dream)" by Radiohead

"Northwestern Girls" by Say Hi

"Note To Self" by Jake Bugg

"Objects Of My Affection" by Peter Bjorn & John

"Ocean Repeating (Big-Eyed Girl)" by Wild Nothing

"Pitter Patter Goes My Heart" by Broken Social Scene

"Polish Girl" by Neon Indian

"Ramona" by Beck

"A Real Hero" by College

"Seaside" by The Kooks

"She's Got You High" by Mumm-Ra

"Someone You'd Admire" by Fleet Foxes

"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane

"Sparks" by Coldplay

"Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)" by Arcade Fire

"Such Great Heights" by The Postal Service

"Sway" by Mates of State

"Sweater Weather" by The Neighbourhood

"Take A Chance On Me" by ABBA

"Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand

"Taking Pictures Of You" by The Kooks

"Teenage Dirtbag" by Scala And Kolacny Brothers

"Team" by Lorde

"Teenage Dream" by T.Rex

"Wait For Love" by St. Lucia

"Wonderwall" by Oasis

"Worship You" by Vampire Weekend 

"Yellow" by Coldplay

"You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall & Oates

"Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn & John

"Your Eyes" by Bombay Bicycle Club

"5 Years Time" by Noah And The Whale

"40 Day Dream" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes

Yep, that's right: I spent my whole day compiling these playlists. Please listen to these songs. I promise you they'll fit in each given situation perfectly. 

Also, since I was unable to make a Galentine's Day post yesterday, right now I'd like to do a quick tribute to all the amazing women in my life!

Starting with my mama:

You have been there through it all. The good times, the bad times, the in-between. Everything. I love you with all my heart, and I am so grateful to have you as my mama. You continue to inspire me constantly with your strength and wisdom. You really are the best. <3

My sister, Sommer:

Us then.

Us now.

Sommer, you have also always been there for me. You are like a second mom to me. You give me awesome advice, laugh at my...weird...texts, go to concerts with me, and let me be my weirdo self around you. Love you so much.

My niece, Maya:

What a diva.

Maya, although you're WAY too young to know how to read, I just want you to know that I love you so much (even when you are screaming in my face). You are adorable, silly, and you take after your mama's "take no shit" personality. 

All of my brothers's beautiful significant others, Kalli, Stephanie, and Rachael:

Kalli.

Steph.

Rachael.

You three ladies are so inspiring. And even more importantly, you make my brothers all so, so happy. I love you all!

And last, but certainly not least: all of my incredible friends:

pfambam.

The Sassmasters.

My dearest Laura.

The best Roomz ever.

Roomz and my Allie Ballie supporting me. <3

Shelbie Boo Boo

And, of course, Ruthie Pop.

I am so incredibly thankful for all of my friends. They keep me sane and happy when my family isn't around to do that, and they always keep me entertained and inspired. I truly am so lucky to have so many amazing females in my life. Happy Belated Galentine's Day, everyone!

So, my rant about wanting to be young and free and single is over now. It's about time I focus on myself and my needs instead of giving myself away all the time. Happy Valentine's Day to all the singles, couples, and everyone in between. No matter what state you're in, remember to love yourself. Because then, and only then, will you ever be able to love someone else.

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"Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances."

Just Chillax

I'm pretty nervous tonight, so I needed to take a break from my midterm studying to write something. I decided to spare all of you from my thoughts on Marx and Nietzsche in the realm of Critical Theory Philosophy and to instead just post some of my favorite songs to listen to when I want to relax. Weird choices? Yeah, maybe. But they're all some of my all-time favorite songs. So, enjoy.


"If I Ever Feel Better" by Phoenix

"Giving Up The Gun" by Vampire Weekend

"Lover's Spit" (Redux) by Broken Social Scene

"Fineshrine" by Purity Ring

"Helplessness Blues" by Fleet Foxes

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"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything." 

-Plato

Lights Out, Words Gone

It's been WAY too long. I know, I suck. But listen: if you knew what my week has been like, you'd understand. This week has been fifty shades of cray. Between Big/Little week and midterms and papers and Polka Party and a cappella stuff and psych research and Polka Party and DM planning (and wait, did I mention Polka Party?) this week has been cuh-ray-zee. So, I guess I'll break my week down: Buzzfeed-style. I mean, let's be honest: if you're reading this at like 2am, you want a numbered list. That's why Buzzfeed is so popular--there are no words! Only gifs and funny quips (yay to the deterioration of literacy!). Okay, here we go:

1) Big/Little Week!
Yeah, so a lot of sorority girls say they have the best Little ever, but we all know they're lying because MY Little Denise is by far the best. I can't even begin to describe how excited I was when I found out I got her as my Little. She's the sweetest and the coolest and I'm so happy to welcome her to the fambam.! Yeah, I'm a stereotype, I realize this. But seriously, she's so cool and I'm so happy.

Reveal!

fambam.

bbybbybbybbybbybbybbybbybbybbybby

2) I started an a cappella group with some of my best friends.

So, it actually happened. An idea that was implanted inside of my head and the head of my friend Thomas finally grew into a real thing. And here's the best part: auditions were really successful! We had over 20 people come to audition, and more are auditioning tomorrow night. As cheesy as this will inevitably sound, never think you're incapable of starting something huge. I'm not gonna lie: the idea of this a cappella group terrifies me because it's a lot of work. All the work is worth it, though, because I'll be singing with my best friends and super talented people. Not Our Forte: let's do this.

Ladies and gentlemen: Shelbie. Aka the most beautiful singer ever.

And also the most adorable.

Not Our Forte founders minus Laura-boo

"Let's all stare off into space and look cool."

I seriously love these folks so much. And Laura, if you're reading this, we will get more selfies with you in them so we are complete, I promise. <3

3) Polka Party happened.

Oh, Willard Polka Party. What a wonderful/crazy/slightly terrifying/unreal experience. If I could describe the night in two words I would say: Polka Party. There is no other way to describe it. I love my dorm and the crazy people in it so, so much.

wat.

All aboard!

RoomieroomieroomieroomieROOMZ!

Chi Os do PP2014

4) I submitted my application to Northwestern to study abroad in London fall quarter.

London, I'm looking at you! I really hope I get in. I'm just so excited to explore a new country, see concerts in London (Royal Albert Hall, anyone?), study Psychology and Art History, and just absorb everything. It's going to be amazing (if I get in, that is...).

I'll just be listening to The Clash and Jake Bugg on repeat, okay?

5) Which record should I buy to console myself on the crippling holiday that is Valentine's Day?

Yeah, I realize this isn't a life update, but it's on my mind right now. I just remembered I have an Amazon gift card that is just enough to buy one record. So, folks! Of the following list I have compiled, which record should I buy? These are all some of my very favorites and they'll sound even better on record! Comment here or on Facebook with your top two:

-You Forgot It In People by Broken Social Scene

-In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel

-Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend

-Tourist History by Two Door Cinema Club

-Kid A by Radiohead

-When The Night by St. Lucia

-Comedown Machine by The Strokes

-The North by Stars

So, that has been my past week. So much more has happened, but I'm currently exhausted and I'm sure none of it is really that important any way. I promise I'll write more, I really do promise. It'll probably be heavily sarcastic, though, so I'm warning all readers in advance. Thanks for checking in on my life. 

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"So think carefully, because times change. Every moment of life, we lose someone that we know. Time does not wait for anyone, and because there is change in every moment, frivolousness harms only ourselves. But if, in our short lives as human beings, we are able to be of some benefit to someone else, then that is the activity of an enlightened being."