Confetti and Champagne and All That Jazz

Yeah, so it's New Years Eve. I'm sure you didn't know that, though, because it's such an under-publicized holiday *eye roll*. 

I don't mean to sound overly bitter, but the whole concept of this holiday is a little puzzling to me. Why do we celebrate a new year? After all, there isn't anything special about it: it's merely just the same, gradual progression of time. Ancient people arbitrarily assigned January 1st to indicate a new year, that's all. It's not like the instant the ball in Times Square drops everything will be different. We'll still go to bed and wake up as the same people.

I guess the New Year is just kind of a wake up call. I think it's a time to reflect on the past year to see what can and needs to be changed. I'm not gonna lie, 2013 kinda blew. Now, don't get me wrong, there were a LOT of incredible things that happened this year. I joined my sorority, Chi Omega, a sisterhood that I will be a part of for life. My adorable nephew Sammy was born. My family got an incredible French Bulldog named Elliott. I turned 20 surrounded by my best friends. And I also began my weight loss journey, lost 15 pounds, and already feel so much more confident in myself.

To be womanly always, to be discouraged never.

He should be a Gap Baby model. But seriously.

My love and snuggle buddy.

Low quality photo, high quality friends.

MCA selfies for days.

But there was a lot of shit, too. I guess that's just life, though. I think I grew and matured more in 2013 than any other year. I finally feel like a real adult. I had a lot of tough situations thrown at me, and now I know how to deal with them. I feel stronger now. I feel like I can handle much more now. I feel like, as cliché as this is gonna sound, the world is my oyster. Even though 2013 wasn't my favorite year, I still consider myself very lucky to have what I do, and I can't wait to begin 2014 with a new, positive outlook. 2014 is gonna be my bitch and I'm so pumped. (Sorry for all the profanity. This is what happens when I get really pumped about something.)

Although I spent the first part of this post criticizing the glorified nature of the New Year, I still celebrate it and use it to evaluate my life and set resolutions. So, if you want to know, here are my 2014 New Year Resolutions (in no particular order):

|| Go to a music festival ||

|| Wear lipstick more often ||

|| Love and embrace myself fully ||

|| Reconnect with old friends (I'm looking at you, old California friends. I miss you!) ||

|| Study abroad in London and explore Europe ||

|| Run a half marathon ||

|| Use the word "rad" more often ||

|| Spend less time on Facebook (yeah, this one will be hard for me) ||

|| Spend more time in nature ||

|| Take more photographs ||

|| Continue pushing myself both academically and creatively ||

|| Follow my passions ||

|| Update this blog with a new post at least every couple of days ||

|| Sew enough clothes to constitute a mini wardrobe ||

|| Continue on my healthy lifestyle, exercising and eating healthy to reach my ultimate goals ||

|| Try to look my very best every day ||

|| Be true to my character and personality ||

|| Believe in myself in every situation ||

I realize that this is quite the hefty list, but I intend on completing all of these items. We'll check in on this list again in a year. For now, I hope you all have a very Happy New Year. <3

New Girl <3

Cheers!

[A Cheesy Inspirational Post]

{DISCALIMER: This post is cheesy and cliché in many ways. Sorry, I'm not sorry. Read at your own leisure.}

Today, I visited an elderly couple with my mom. Both used to live in a small village in Italy, then moved to Columbus's Little Italy neighborhood, then a condominium where my mom delivers Holy Communion once a month (they are, understandably so, very Catholic). Although I only spoke with them for about ten minutes, they, in combination with my mom, inspired me more than anything or anyone has in a long time.

Lately, I've been freaking out about my life a LOT.

Questions such as…
"What am I going to do with my life?"
and
"Will the profession I choose make me happy for as long as I'll need?"
and
"Will I ever find true love?"
and
"Will I make a true difference in this world during my life?"
and many, many more slither through my mind like poison, taunting me on the daily.

Yet today, after speaking with both my mom and the elderly couple, I realized a couple of things.

I am only 20 years old. For some reason ever since my 20th birthday (a whopping 3 weeks ago), I have felt much older than I actually am. BUT I'M ONLY 20. I'm a sophomore in college. I have so much life and so many opportunities ahead of me. Why the hell am I freaking out so much?

Maybe it's because I'm such an old soul. I really connected with the elderly couple, and ever since I can remember, I've always felt older than I am, and have had a huge affinity for old things (old jewelry, old music, old beauty, old photographs, etc.). No matter the reason, I realized that I should stop worrying so much about my future. For once in my life, I should embrace not having a set in stone plan. I should explore what this great world provides.

I want to travel.

The old style map of London hanging in my room at home.

I want to sew.

The sewing cave.

I want to listen to good music.

I'm actually in love with my new turntable. I told you I'm an old soul.

Please ignore my Christmas Morning no makeup look as I hold my new records.

And go to amazing concerts.

The proof is on the wall.

I want to study philosophy and psychology and anthropology and art history and anything and everything that intrigues me.

The texts I will be reading this next quarter.

I want to be with my awesome family.

Good lord, we all have huge foreheads.

I want to take stupid selfies when I feel confident in an outfit and strong in myself.

At least I can make fun of myself…? 

I want to enjoy where I am, what I'm doing, and who I'm with every second of every day.

A constant reminder.

And most importantly, I want to be the best version of myself possible.

As a side note, conversing with the elderly couple was a real life example of true love. Married for 50 years now, it was obvious that although both were a little out of touch with reality and not as sharp as they once were. The love they had for each other, however, was evident in their simple looks at one another. I hope to have a love like that one day. But for the first time in my life, I'm in no rush. Guys suck at this age (sorry boys, but you know it's at least kind of true). I'm so happy building myself up and developing my life. I am more than happy to wait for the right guy to come into my life.

It's really amazing what one can do given the right amount of courage, fortitude, and passion. And I intend to pursue what makes me happy. Like my mama said, "Life is too short to be unhappy." Yeah, it's cliché. Yeah, it's been said in every ABC Family original movie ever. But if you actually stop and think about it, it's so true. We, as humans, have no clue when we're going to die. For all I know, I could die in my sleep tonight (although I sincerely hope that doesn't happen). Too many people go through life hating what they're doing, and I really don't want to be one of those people. I work too damn hard at school and have sacrificed too many hours studying to just settle with a career I'm unhappy with.

The same philosophy goes for every other aspect of my life. Hobbies, love, my personality, my happiness, everything. I deserve to be happy just as much as any human being does. And I am going to do everything in my power to continue making a happy life for myself.

I just need to learn to stop. and breathe. and realize how much life there is left to live and how many opportunities await me.

Life is really an amazing thing. And it's meant to be lived, not survived.

Nerd.

When I was in 2nd grade, I was obsessed with clouds and rocks. Cumulonimbus, metamorphic, igneous, cirrus, you name it, it was my jam. As I quickly discovered, I was the only one who thought Earth Science was cool.

Oh, young Sydney.

I remember so clearly the day that I was first labeled a nerd. A group of the cliché popular girls came up to me and literally said, plain and simply, "Sydney, you're such a nerd."At the time, I was devastated. Hurt. Mortified. Yet, as the months went on, I realized it was actually the best compliment anyone has ever given me.

My idol, Zooey Deschanel, said it best when describing her childhood: "When I was 13, I wasn't the coolest kid in my class, and that inner dork is a wonderful thing to have."

To me, being a nerd is equivalent to being passionate about life: it's about wanting to learn anything and everything you possibly can about the world around you. Being a nerd also means showing your most humanistic qualities. It's about being curious, examining life, questioning everything.

In this blog, my goal is two-fold:
-for it to act as an online journal, recording my thoughts and life events so I can properly reminisce in the future
-to embrace my nerdiness and to amplify my passions

While my interests have changed from Earth Science in elementary school to Biology in high school to Psychology, Art History, and Philosophy now in college, one thing has remained constant: my passion for learning and the embracement of my nerdy personality. Both have led me to where I stand today, and they will both lead me to where I hope to stand in the future.

I've grown a lot since 2nd grade, but I'm still the same person.

My name is Sydney. Welcome to my journey. Welcome to Fugue Fighter.