101 Things in 1001 Days

Being bored absolutely sucks.

But, if there's one thing I've realized this past month being home, sometimes you just need to suck it up, accept your circumstances, and move forward. It took me a while to realize that this time at home is actually awesome. One day I just kind of realized that I can do whatever I want to do. I can plan things, try new things I've never done before, and be on Pinterest for hours on end (and boy have I).

One day last week, I was aimlessly scrolling through Facebook--as I do pretty much 24/7--and I read a fantastic article posted and written by my friend and sister in Chi Omega, Sharon. The topic? Her decision to begin experimenting with makeup and incorporating it into her daily routine. As Sharon describes in her article, she started incorporating makeup into her daily routine as part of a greater challenge: "101 Things in 1001 Days".

I read the article Sharon linked in her article describing the challenge, and was instantly inspired. There are many beautiful aspects to this challenge: firstly, you have 1001 days to complete it. That is roughly (according to my handy-dandy calculator) 2.74246575 years. Almost 3 years. I don't know about you, but that seems like a more realistic time span to complete larger goals and to change habits. This excited me because every year, I make New Year's Resolutions in January, and easily become disappointed come November/December because I haven't accomplished nearly everything I wanted to.

Additionally, you get to completely customize the challenge to your lifestyle. You choose everything and anything you want to complete. The only hard part is actually brainstorming 101 things. It went quickly at first, then slowed a bit for me. But, behold, I brainstormed 101 things, and began. Thank you so much for inspiring me to to complete this challenge, Sharon! I hope I am able to inspire others as you have inspired me.

Start date: January 29th, 2015

End date: October 26th, 2017

In no particular order of significance, here is my list:
(*purple=in progress*)

Health & Fitness:

1) start doing yoga regularly

2) meditate for 10 minutes each day

I will *litrally* be so zen.

3) lose 30 lbs.

4) complete a half marathon

5) put lotion on my arms every night

6) work out at least 4 days/week (exception: vacation)

7) go rock climbing in an indoor gym

8) go without coffee for a week

9) go without meat for a week

10) floss daily for 2 weeks straight

11) go 2 weeks without drinking soda

12) go 24 hours without using any form of social media

13) go without unhealthy food for a month

14) actually learn how to ride my longboard

15) get at least 8 hours of sleep a night for 2 weeks

16) take a swing dancing class
17) weight train at least 3 days per week

If you wanna see how uncoordinated I am, take the class with me!

DIY/Arts & Crafts:

18) learn how to be a better photographer

19) finish sewing my quilt

20) learn how to weave

21) learn how to screen print

22) learn how to play the guitar

23) start a cactus garden

24) sew a kimono cardigan

25) do a 30-day photo challenge

26) write a piece for HelloGiggles.com

27) grow a plant from seeds & keep it alive

28) create a new inspiration board

29) learn how to do a french braid

30) do something creative with my old concert t-shirts

31) sew at least 10 pieces of clothing for myself

It's time to fire up the sweat shop again!

32) finish Nyan Cat cross stitch

33) learn how to do a fishtail braid

34) learn how to use Adobe Illustrator

35) learn how to use Photoshop

36) learn how to make pottery on a wheel

37) press flowers in books

38) learn how to curl my hair with a curling iron

39) learn how to paint with oil paints

40) learn how to bind books

Travel:

41) go to a music festival

42) visit Victoria in New Jersey

43) visit Phoebe in Colorado

44) go on a trip with friends

Photo credit: Winnie :)

45) go on a trip alone

46) visit a new country

47) visit 5 new U.S. cities

48) go to Mood Fabrics in NYC

49) visit London again

50) go on a road trip somewhere

Wake me up, before you go go.

51) go camping

52) visit Victoria in Wisconsin

53) go on "The Price is Right"

Organization: 

54) write at least 1 blog post a week

55) get sewing machines tuned up

56) organize study abroad photos & souvenirs

57) repair all vintage cameras √

58) get at least 5 new blog followers

This has nothing to do with getting organized, I just really like this GIF.

Cooking:

59) learn how to bake naan

60) go wine tasting

61) take a cooking class

62) throw a dinner party

63) cook Rachael's rice wrap recipe from Tahoe

64) learn how to cook something other than pasta & stir fry
65) try a new ethnicity of food

No explanation needed.

Confidence Boosting:

66) get a manicure once a month & a pedicure once every 2-3 months

67) sing in a karaoke bar

68) write a letter about life to future Sydney

69) feel confident wearing a bikini

70) take a selfie every day for 1001 days

I promise I'm not a narcissist. I just want to do this so at the end of this challenge I can see how I've physically changed over the years. 

71) give my number to a random, cute guy

72) take another pole dancing class

73) invest in nice lingerie

74) wear at least one risky outfit per week

75) make a list of positive things about myself every day for a month

76) inspire someone to complete this challenge

Fun Stuff:

77) compile a notebook of my favourite lyrics

78) go to at least 10 concerts 

79) go apple picking

80) go to a New Year's Eve party & kiss someone at midnight

I mean, this is what usually happens, so...

81) watch all of the Star Wars movies

82) visit a new neighbourhood of Chicago once a month until graduation

83) get another piercing

84) watch at least 5 new T.V. shows

85) buy a new record every 1-2 months

Education:

86) read at least 10 books

87) get a 4.0 at least one quarter before graduating 

88) visit an art museum at least once every 3 months

89) graduate from Northwestern with a major in Psychology, a minor in Art History, & a certificate in Integrated Marketing

Adulthood:

90) put $25 into savings every month

91) move into my own apartment

92) buy stock in a company

93) land at least one new client for CivitasNow

94) collect all loose change in a jar

Fake it 'til you make it.

Helping the World & Improving My Soul:

95) become more involved in Chi Omega

96) reconnect with an old friend

97) volunteer at least once a month (animal shelter, nursing home, planting trees, etc.)

98) go to church at least once a month

99) genuinely compliment a stranger once a week

100) pray at least every other day

101) adopt a shelter dog

So, there you have it, folks! I realize some of the things on my list may be embarrassing or stupid or trivial, or maybe even impossible to achieve; but I don't care. I love my list and I'm so ready to complete these things. I'll update this blog post over the next 1001 days, so keep checking back to see my progress. And hey, if you want to do anything on this list with me, gimme a ring! (Or, you know, a text message/Facebook message/carrier pigeon, whatevs).

It's time for me to take control of my life. I actually want to seize the days of my life instead of just pinning cute "Carpe Diem" prints on Pinterest. 

It's time to kick some "101 Things in 1001 Days Challenge" ass.

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"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are."

-Max DePree

MONOlogue

It's been too damn long, Fugue Fighter. Too damn long.

I'm going to cut myself some major slack, though, because the past four months have been some of (not even "some of", they HAVE BEEN) the craziest months of my life so far. I know that's not really saying much considering I've only been on this earth for 21 years...but still. They've been crazy.

As you know if you read this blog, follow me on Facebook, Snaphchat, Instagram, or just hardcore stalk me, from September through December, I lived in London. Without a doubt, it was the best three months of my life. The whole time I was there, I kept on trying to motivate myself to update the blog to describe just how amazing of a time I was having. Yet, every time I sat down to write, I became distracted by new places to see and visit, delicious food to eat, and wine & cheese parties with my flat mates. They were all amazing distractions.

I came to realize that although I'll kick myself in the future for not recording all of my experiences and adventures in a permanent form, for the first time in my life, I was living in the moment. As an obsessive planner and Type A personality, I had never done that before and I felt liberated.

Upon arriving home from London in mid-December, I knew I had to write at least something on here to accurately sum up what a truly amazing experience I had. Yet, every time I tried to sit down and write, I couldn't find the words to fully describe just how amazing my experience was.

As the days of my winter break went by, I felt exhausted every day. Honestly, I felt pretty depressed, too, which probably contributed to the exhaustion. Now, don't get me wrong: I loved being home. I missed my family like crazy while I was away, and being able to be with them again was a dream come true. But it also meant that my European adventure was over. And that was a big realization to accept.

As Christmas came and passed, what I pegged as being simple jet lag seemed to worsen. I was tired all of the time, yet I wasn't doing anything during the day to warrant my exhaustion. Soon, I began having bad flu-like symptoms and around December 27th, I accepted that I had the flu. I spent every day sleeping, pounding the DayQuil & NyQuil, and trying to get the damn virus out of my system. I had heard that the flu is awful this year, so as I experienced my horrible symptoms, I never questioned whether or not it was the flu, but rather a different virus.

The days progressed, and my appetite drastically decreased. I couldn't eat anything without instantly feeling nauseous. I developed awful migraines that made me so sensitive to light that I had to wear sunglasses while watching TV. And finally, at 4am on New Year's Day, I began uncontrollably vomiting.

Now, if you know me, you know that I never vomit unless it's alcohol-induced. Before this incident, the last time I remember vomiting was when I was 5 and decided to spin around in circles after inhaling a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. Sorry again for puking all over your bed 16 years ago, Sam...

My mom rushed up to my room to help me after I sent her a distress text message. After getting all of that out of my system, I fell back to sleep and woke up to my parent's decision to take me to the ER.

I'm just gonna say now, and please excuse my French: I fucking hate hospitals. I hate every part of them. All I could think as I waited in the waiting room with a Bane mask covering my face was "Why the fuck did I ever think I wanted to be a doctor?". I mean, I can't even look at a hospital building without beginning to feel queasy and uneasy. Being in the ER sucked, although I guess it's not exactly supposed to be a joyous occasion.

Two liters of IV fluids and multiple blood tests later revealed some weird results. After shoving a giant Qtip up my nose, scraping my brain, sticking a similar Qtip to the back of my throat causing me to gag, and stealing four tubes of my blood, the results showed that I actually tested negative for the flu and negative for strep throat.

Wait, what? If I didn't have the flu or strep throat, then what the hell did I have?

Mononucleosis.

Now, I have to be honest: I always thought mono was the virus people got when they had loose lips (and I'm not talking about telling secrets). I know that's super judgmental of me, but all I knew of mono before being diagnosed with it was that it was commonly known as the "kissing disease" because it can only be passed through saliva.

To this day, I have no clue how I got this illness. Maybe someone sneezed near me while I was on the airplane home? Maybe I shared a drink with one of my friends who once had mono without knowing? Maybe the guy I had a thing with in London really did have mono at one point, but just didn't remember having it? Who knows. That wasn't the point. The point was, I did nothing wrong to get mono, nor do others. I felt awful for judging people in the past.

As I was at home after the ER, I did not begin to feel better at all. I continued vomiting a lot, I couldn't eat more than two or three bites of food before feeling overwhelming nausea, and I would drink around 6 liters of water a day and still constantly feel thirsty.

I truly was a fool for thinking I wouldn't have to go back to the ER. As I walked in for my post-ER appointment with my doctor, she took one look at me and insisted I go back to the ER. My blood pressure was dangerously low and apparently I looked like death.

Well, shit.

A second visit to the ER means more and more tests. X-rays, ultrasounds of my spleen and liver, way too many blood and urine tests, and belly exams. The blood results again confirmed that I had mononucleosis, but this time there was more to the story. Apparently my body had been hit by the worst strain of mono that only occurs in 5% of mono patients. I had side effects of viral hepatitis, as the mono had trashed my liver. My liver enzymes were through the roof. My spleen hurt a lot and so did my liver. Also I had a full body rash, the worst sore throat ever that lasted a week, and much more, but I'll spare you the intimate details.

Bottom line was that I was the sickest I've ever been, ever. After two days, around 7 liters of IV fluid, and more tests than a class at Northwestern, I told my parents I had to get out of the depressing ER and recover at home.

It takes a lot for me to fully accept situations. Sometimes (most of the time) I need someone else to make me realize the reality of a situation. As I left the ER for a second time, I still felt like shit and my parents, my siblings, my ER doctors, and my regular doctor all worked tirelessly to convince me that there was no feasible way I could go back to Northwestern for Winter Quarter. I slept for 75% of a given 24 hours, couldn't read more than a few sentences of something without losing focus or falling asleep, I couldn't drive, let alone walk upstairs to my bedroom without holding onto my mom for support. I still couldn't eat anything without vomiting, and worst of all, I was in constant, excruciating pain that could only be temporarily appeased by an 800mg ibuprofen pill.

I really, really didn't want to accept it, but there was no way I could go back to Northwestern and survive. I had no choice: I had to make the toughest decision of my life and take medical leave of absence for the quarter.

As much as I complain about Northwestern, I really do love it so much. And I was especially excited to go back for Winter Quarter to see all of my friends I hadn't seen since June, to share all of my study abroad stories, and catch up on their lives. I was super excited to live in the Chi Omega house and grow closer in my relationships with my sisters. I was eager to get more involved in Chi O, as well as my other activities on campus. And for probably the first time ever, I was legitimately excited about all of the classes I was registered to take.

That's always how it seems to work though, right? Just as you think life is perfect and flawless, something gets thrown your way to mix things up. As I said previously, I am very much a Type A personality. Thankfully, as I've grown older, I've learned to roll with things and relax more (and anti-anxiety medicine helps with that a lot). But, accepting the fact that I would be away from campus for another quarter was very hard for me to grasp.

Now, here I am, almost a month after the worst of my illness, and I'm still having a hard time adjusting to this whole situation. Some days are better than others. Luckily, my worst symptoms are gone. I no longer vomit, I can eat full meals without nausea, I no longer have super intense pain, and I can happily watch TV without looking like Stevie Wonder. All that I'm dealing with now is extreme fatigue, exhaustion, and minor aches and pains.

What is probably the worst thing about mono is the fact that I have a million ideas in my head of things to do to keep myself occupied, but absolutely zero energy to do any of them. Every day gets better and every day I begin having more strength to do things, but the boredom still hits me. And that's very hard for me to deal with. I mean, for crying out loud, it's taken me three weeks to write this dang blog post.

I realize that this whole monologue has basically been a giant bitch fest, so I need to clear up a couple of things and apologize a bit. 

First of all, I am extremely lucky that all I have is mononucleosis and not a more intense, life-threatening disease. Sure, mono sucks, but as long as I rest a lot and don't push my body for the next couple months, I'll be back to normal in no time. It could have been SO much worse.

Also, I'm incredibly lucky that I was at my most ill while at home and not while in London or Evanston. If the latter were the case, I probably wouldn't have known to go to the ER, and probably would've become even more ill than I was. I don't even wanna imagine that.

So, at the end of the day, it's just mono. Granted it was the worst, most rare form of mono I could get, and it was the most ill I've ever felt, but it could have been much worse.

I'm extremely thankful that I have amazing parents who have taken such great care of me these past couple of weeks. I am so, so lucky. I am also so thankful for all of the well wishes, cards, text messages, flowers, random soup, Facebook messages, and emails I've received since being sick. All of your kind words have made me feel so much better.

The thing I've learned about life is that as much as we like to think we're in complete control of it, at the end of the day, anything could happen that's out of our control. I NEVER thought I would become this ill. I never thought I would have to miss a quarter of school. I never thought I would have to go to the ER. But it all happened, and that's life. You just gotta roll with it. As much as we try to control and direct our lives, there are just certain things that happen to us that are out of our hands.

And the sooner we learn to accept these inevitabilities, the sooner we will be happier and more accepting of our lives.

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"Relax.
You will become an adult.
You will figure out your career.
You will find someone who loves you.
You have a whole lifetime; time takes time.
The only way to fail at life is to abstain."